that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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