I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You can't motorboat a personality
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
