The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
How external is "for external use only"?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize