So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Is Oprah even human
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
