Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
