dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize