OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
