You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
