im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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