My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
