Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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