That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
