Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Soap is not a condiment
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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