My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im holly from the hills drunk
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
