help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
