Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize