You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize