the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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