I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
