That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
