I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize