I just threw up on my dentist
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
