I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
