You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
