my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
