Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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