dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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