Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
