Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
All I want is dick and wine.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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