she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
