I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
