guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
