I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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