I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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