I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You are a booty call, not a friend.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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