Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
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the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
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i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.