Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.

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  (416): Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine. http://tfl.nu/wzgr
  Replies (4) Good night (2109) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse

  (914): View more from New York

  so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though

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  (443): so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse (914): so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though http://tfl.nu/1ux5
  Replies (11) Good night (4154) Bad night (478)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.

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  (440): just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy. http://tfl.nu/sv1q
  Replies (15) Good night (844) Bad night (2207)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.

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  (727): He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass. http://tfl.nu/11ss
  Replies (8) Good night (877) Bad night (4461) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed

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  (732): i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed http://tfl.nu/l1mh
  Replies (17) Good night (967) Bad night (3396) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.

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  (917): Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses. http://tfl.nu/c9p5
  Replies (30) Good night (3798) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?

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  (704): I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this? http://tfl.nu/q6uf
  Replies (44) Good night (6278) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill

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  (270): She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill http://tfl.nu/d0h5
  Replies (16) Good night (563) Bad night (4402) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.

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  (412): Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way. http://tfl.nu/rfmc
  Replies (18) Good night (4106) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had

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  (717): They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had http://tfl.nu/qmkc
  Replies (46) Good night (4710) Bad night (1569) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.

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  (610): I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting. http://tfl.nu/w8rn
  Replies (9) Good night (1178) Bad night (6805) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am

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  (605): im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am http://tfl.nu/dc3c
  Replies (9) Good night (3230) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.

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  (504): ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town. http://tfl.nu/omo7
  Replies (14) Good night (6141) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.

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  (865): My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together. http://tfl.nu/dn4t
  Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (129) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far

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  (407): I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far http://tfl.nu/ylx6
  Replies (1) Good night (654) Bad night (167) Order T-Shirt

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