She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.