I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
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Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
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She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.