So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She is in my trunk
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.