is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016