I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.