My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I forget how to act sober
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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