I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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