Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
