This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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