So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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