my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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