Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
