hell yes lets make some ravioli
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
