ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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