Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
