We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
