@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
last night I used snow as a chaser
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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