wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
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just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
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While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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