Small penises have feelings too.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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