woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
