i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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