You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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