just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
