Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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