what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize