and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
