from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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