So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
