Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
